What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor?

The Deli Diaries...

2008-01-03T22:50:00.000-08:00

So, I'm here on my brother's laptop in the cafe. I had spaghetti with turkey ham and lovely onions. Bahah.
But back to the nonsensical mumbo jumbo I always ramble on about, I'm gonna be attending for an interview in Starbucks near HELP Institute. If you didn't know, HELP Institute is not an institution for youths with psychological dilemmas or a common suicide hotline. Its actually one of the best private institutions in Malaysia. So, since the Starbucks branch is close by the university ( My brother and my dearest Leanna goes to college there) I am able to spend some time with them as well get discounts. Bwhaha. Although I'm not really a fan of Starbucks, at least I get some good money.
I'm also guessing the employer's benefits are good as well. Medical benefits, etc. Also,I am also paid to get my training. Sadly, the money might have to be spent on transportation. Public transportation. =<
*whinewhine moanymoany groangroan*

So, anyways, fuck you guys. I'm out of here!

The end is the beginning.

2007-12-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

Christmas has passed several days ago. My head is spinning from the constant shots of pure and authentic black Russian vodka. I feel small. Nauseated and defeated by my inability to afford nice presents. Or receive them, but then again.. Its the thought that counts. Effervescent against the the blank and hollow sheets the twinkle with invisible stars. What the hell is this? I'm being poetic as I'm doing my best not to drop my head on the desk. Somehow, I never really looked forward to blogging. I have so many things to say, but trying to keep up with posting it every weekend or month is a drag. So anyways, I managed to buy myself a cd for Christmas. And some clothes too. I got Kashmir's Zitilites. A great listen. Like its other fellow Danish mates Mew, they put in a lot into their work. Subtle rock with a hint of spectral buzz. Excellent, I say.
I'm hoping to find Dandi Wind as well. One of those few Electronic dance band that really tickle my fancy. And charcoal tablets apply to that, as well. I would be weak without it.

So anyways, out of a whim, I'm posting a few random pictures I took from my trip to Penang. I apologise for not being as quirky or as witty with my words, but I must admit that I'm feeling rather mellow.

This is a picture of The Penang Chinese Swastika Society. I don't really know what they do in there, but I would sure as hell like to find out.

And so it ends..

2007-12-12T06:52:00.000-08:00

No, this isn't the end of my blog. In fact, 'tis my return!
I disappeared due to my SPM examinations as all of you know. The horror ended last Tuesday. Art was my last paper and it was a lot harder than I thought. I'm worried now.
Bwahaha. Anywizzy, I had just returned from Penang a day ago.

But to something a little more exciting, I won a cellular telephone (Sony Ericsson 880i) around September. Yay me. I got a super cool cellphone which enables me to snap pictures of my dirty self and lovely sceneries. I've noticed that my narrating isn't as interesting as it once was. I blame it on school and exams. This is really taking a toll on me and its rather depressing. I've lost all my inspirations and love for writing in perfection and wit. I'm guessing the SPM exams made me a little more mellow.

Misery sets its foot down now because I have to go look for a job to earn money to support myself for when Pascal visits. Pascal is my friend from Amsterdam who is coming here for his school trip. He's a tropical biology student and he's coming here due to research purposes. I might get laid. Might! But I'm not looking forward to that. Its the company I'm more excited about. 7 Dutchs.. What more could I ask for?!
So, I might start to work for Starbucks or TGIF. I'm still waiting if L'Oreal would hire me as a clerk or something. Life after high school is being a slave to the wage, kiddos.

I really hope I manage to move to Australia as soon as I can. There is no future for me here in Malaysia. I don't seem to be needed or wanted. Or it seems that my talent isn't going to be appreciated here. So, hopefully I'm to be appreciated there. My skills or whatever that's good, they need to use it. Anyways, I'm off to bed. I'm gonna post some videos and pictures tomorrow. Adios.

MY MUSIC

2007-07-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

I reckon...

2007-07-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

As far as everyone's concerned, I am not as pretty or as good looking as you've all had thought. But fear not, fella's with raging hormones. I have a few more pictures that shall make up for my horrendous features.

My first haircut for this year. I was a tad bit drunk when that was taken. Not drunk. But. slightly intoxicated.
Myself feeling sweet and pretty. This is myself with long hair by the way.
Tahah! My first attempt to have china-doll bangs. Nice, innit? Mom seems to think otherwise. My harlequinn romance novel front cover. That's my tranny-bear, Ruby.
Feeling slightly suspicious and evil. That piece of paper contains my plan to destroy Nicaragua. I have awesome eyes, don't I!

How Jenna Solves A Problem.

2007-07-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

1. Identify the problem. Then, find a way to resolve the matter.

2. Think of ways to solve it. Ideas. Do not forget to add it some reasons why it may work.

3. Avoid day-dreaming. It only makes you sleepier and hazy. Never watch porno in the midst of resolving your problem.
But when you've found an idea that's just amazing, use it!
4. But do think of the outcomes. Bad or good. If bad, try putting it aside and carry on to another.

4. Unless if the bad outcomes may benefit the community and yourself (ie. profit), do plan to go with it. And stop being fickle.

6. Drama is also a good way to start planning a super plan to destroy the world. A good evil cackle, and some LSD might do the trick. Also, top it off with some crazy eyes!

Monkey mooning...

2007-07-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

My blog. Ugh. My blog.

Terrible things are happening lately. Jacob's lady is in rehab, my trials are up, and I'm going to Gua Tempurung early August.
I figured that ranting isn't gonna help me get through writing a blog. As far as I'm concerned, Im not a fan of blogging and I have no clue how to blog. But moving along, I presume I shall rant about the last ep of Harry Potter.
I am terribly terribly miffed by the ending. Death after death. Heres a list of who dies.. As I can remember..
- Voldermort. (BURN IN HELL, MOULDYWART!)
- Remus Lupin (he's the coolest Defense against Dark Arts Teacher)
- Hedwig (poor bird)
- Dobby (he with bad grammar)
- Snape
And here's the worst.
FRED WEASLEY!!!!!!! :((
I found out since last week and I'm already mourning. He can't die. :(
And George looses and ear. But here's the happy ending...

-Harry marries Ginny Weasley. [lovely. He becomes Ron's in-law]
-Ron marries Hermione.
.....no comment on that

I've yet to read the book.
I dont think I want to. Its too depressing. =(

PIRATES PIRATES PIRATES!

2007-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

I went to the Isle of Penang which is located in the north of Malaysia.
My favourite spot, the east of Penang island, Ferringhi.
Great hotels.. and white people too. But apart from that, its a pirated cd haven. These bastards have Brett Anderson's* solo album already. =/
I went harassing the cd store clerks in Kuala Lumpur to order them for me. And it's been two months since I've heard anything from them. Bastards!
But anyways, here's my list of cd's I got.

Brett Anderson - solo Suede
The Vines - Vision Valley
The White Stripes - Icky Thump (it's good, actually)
The Sunshine Underground - Raise The Alarm
Manic Street Preachers - Know Your Enemy
Arctic Monkeys - Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts
Beck - Guerolito
Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion (mediocre, I know. But I can't help it. He's too goodlooking, flamboyant and the bugger sings in the right keys.)

I didn't have enough time to run through the other 5 stalls, but I did manage to pick up 2 other dvd's which are..
Depeche Mode - Touring The Angel [Live In Milan]
and
Marie Antoinette.. the movie.

I've yet to enjoy all these junk.
But I am going back to Penang as soon as I can to pick whatever I need up.

FARK

2007-05-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

I just realised that my bloody gif's aren't working as I had expected them too.
But worry not. Just save them to your pc and it'll work.
It'd better!

But anyways, I lied. Gif's Galore isn't my last post of the month. This might be the last one. I don't know. Hmm..
Now, I need to get my clothes ready for camp on Saturday. Not looking forward to toshing and bashful camps with spoilt brats!
Bleh. Enough of rambling..
I need sleep!
FUCK OFF!
Sowwy

GIF's Galore!

2007-05-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

Hitherto, my midterms are finally over. Except that EST is tomorrow and I'd have to study peanuts for it but read the textbook about general knowledge in the scientific quota.
Art was a bust.
I drew mermaids. Don't get me wrong. They looked absolutely hot. Hardly scary as I wanted them to be. The painting finally came out right. Except for the cursed giant boulder behind the mermaids..Stalling in the background. It looked more like an ugly grey curtain that draped about in this disturbingly disgusting manner.
I'm angry. Very angry! And it doesn't help that some neighbour's baby is crying and wailing and it's annoying the hell out of me.
Dear god. I think this is the most progressive blog post ever. In my history of blog-posting, that is.
But anyways, no tosh tosh and let's get down to business. Like ever?!

I've been having some fun, collecting some fun fun fun avatars or otherwise known as gif's.
They're very fun to make, and fun to enjoy.
I traveled into e-world and gone sight-seeing and few lovelies.
All the files I'm sharing are not completely gif images, but a few funny ones as well (just like I did for my previous posts a few months back).

This is going to be my last post for the month. I'd love to put up more and more things, but I'm afraid I have camp to attend. *frown*
But it's alright.
But anyways, enjoy the gif's.

HOW TO READ A PRESS RELEASE

2007-05-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

...and the record reviews that we find are increasingly based on them.

New Releases

A STORMING RETURN TO FORM
Their last album was rubbish. This is better, honest.

CRITICALLY ACLAIMED
Commercially disastrous, will never repay when its budget for Post-It notes.

A RECORD TO MELT HEARTS
It's got an orchestra on it.

BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTER SONGWRITING
It's got a piano on it.

SWEEPING CINEMATIC SOUNDSCAPES
It's got an orchestra and some trumpets on it.

EAGERLY AWAITED
Everyone has forgotten who they are ; drummer is working in a cycle courier.

..HAS KEPT A DISCREET PROFILE..
He's this far away from being dead.

INSTANTLY RECOGNISABLE
Exactly the same as their last record

A TYPICALLY BRAVE DEPARTURE
Commercially suicidal, not even the publicist can stand listening to it.

MARVELOUSLY UNRECONSTRUCTED '70s SOUND
Terrible MOR radio sludge.

TURNING THEIR BACKS ON THE GREEDY MAJORS, THE BAND OPTED FOR INDEPENDENCE
They were dropped.

SOPHOMORE ALBUM
Silly phrase used only in press releases to make "second album" sound more American and therefore more interesting. Sophomore year is your second at an American college but strangely nobody follows their "sophomore effect" with "junior year" or "senior year" albums.

....SHOWCASES THEIR GROWING MATURITY
Same as the last album, only slower.

Expressing the Inexpressible

POWERFUL DRUMMING
Loud drumming.

DISTINCTIVE VOCALS
He/She can't sing

GRITTY
We couldn't afford a producer

URBAN
Black

HEARTFELT
Slow and quiet.

ANTHEMIC
Slow and loud.

PLAYFUL
More than a bit irritating.

LAIDBACK GROOVES
Interminable, directionless jamming

GLAMOROUS
Gay.

FLAMBOYANT
Gay.

MELODRAMATIC
Gay, possibly closeted.

SWAGGERING
Horribly up themselves.

SOLID
Boring.

SOARING MELODIES
One of those bands where the singer makes a virtue of not being able to reach the note, viz. Athlete, Keane, Flaming Lips, Coldplay etc.

SUNSHINE POP TUNES
They like the Beach Boys.

CLASSIC SONGWRITING
They like The Beatles

CLASSIC ROCK AND ROLL
They like The Stones

CLASSIC ENGLISH WHIMSY
They like Pink Floyd

CLASSIC DECADENCE
They like David Bowie

CLASSIC SWAGGER
They like cocaine

UNSHAKABLE SELF-BELIEF
Cocaine again.

CURSE THAT WRITER'S BLOCK!

I shall try to work on something new........

Best Songwriters Ever...Next Time Maybe

2007-04-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that my previous post was utter rubbish! Precisely blank with ideas, I decided to ramble about something I've been working on for months now.
This just shows that despite my talent for creative writing, that goddamn writer's block just holds me down like an anchor.
But anyways, since I'm all about music, I've decided to list down the tracks that I've been listening to religiously for the past few months. As I planned on swizzling out the few songwriters that I adamantly admire, I realised that I will need time and a chuck-load of words that are precise and a wee bit ingenious.
Instead of burdening myself with that load, I've decided to make it easier for me and my fellow readers. Especially those who are busy preparing themselves for the upcoming midterms.
Good luck to all of you.

The Stone Roses - I Am The Resurrection
Roughly 8-minutes long of graceful and camouflaged "up yours" sentiment could be applied to either a lover whose dumped you or annoying piece of dung in general. Ian Brown should be proud of himself for being a top-notch composer, even though his vocals aren't really much to brag about.

Pixies-Debaser
"Big fat man that looks like a butcher but sounds like a little girl," said Kolai, a fictional fan of the stud-like Frank Black/Black Francis. The inspiration behind the venomous riffs of Smells Like Teen Spirit. The best part about this song is the disturbing lyric about "slicing up eyeballs".
Worth a listen.

Manic Street Preachers - Ocean Spray
It opens with a man explaining something about water in Japanese. The song immediately left me speechless after hearing it. If it's not the melody to brag about, it's the lyrics. Explaining emotions and expressions like "It's easy to laugh, it's easy to cry. To cry so so hard, that it can't be denied." tells us that James Dean Bradfield can make you cry even though he's as chirpy and Snow White.

Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box
The only thing I have to say ....
THE MOST FUCKED UP LOVE-SONG IN THE WORLD....EVER!

The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Scottish trio introduces a knuckle-dragging glam-rock stomp that will leave you humming out their inevitably catchy Do-do-do's.

The Veils - Advice For Young Mothers To Be
Finn Andrews, son of XTC keyboardist, Barry Andrews, channels the spirits of Jeff Buckley and Nick Cave to conjure up a pounding mix of doom and gloom that's all of his own.

The Horrors - Count In Fives
They look like they've just emerged from a crypt and make equally unholy racket. But when it comes to "tally", frontman Faris Rotter will cut you in half!

.............................................................................................................................................................
(this is all for now. I need my beauty sleep!)

The Horrors

2007-03-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I need to make it very clear that I'm not obsessed with The Horrors. They're quite now, and as soon as their album comes out, many more are gonna listen to them and then maybe even dress like them. Ugh, posers. And again, they're not EMO! Not GOTH...or whatever you choose to call them.

Also, I would like to apologise for the havoc made in that photo collection of mine. To be clear the picture which includes 4 slides (lomograph) is Tomethy Furst. The topless boy sitting my the lake is Jacob. And the one in the tie is Coffin Joe. A mess. But what can I do.. :|

Anyways, I'd like to introduce some of my favourite videos of The Horrors.

The first one will be Sheena Is A Parasite. Featuring Samantha Morton from Pride and Prejudice as the confused lady who gives birth to a slimy squid.
Following up, is the parody called..Sheena is A Parody. Please pay attention. Drummer uses kitchen tools to play drums, bassist..um, randomly hits a spoon against his wrist, keyboardist presses some kind of buttons..Mop as a guitar and a brush as a microphone. A microphone is usually replaced with a brush in most parodies. But this one's funnier. Instead of the usual hairbrush, they use the scrubber brush for toilet bowls. Hilarious.

Next up, Count In Fives. The band perform in a usual studio and appear in black and white. The rhythm, catchy. Thanks to Spider Webbs techique on the organ, the song appears to sound like a rock n roll version of The Addams Family. Also, there'll be people outside of the screen, in white tee's translating the lyrics into sign language.
Swell, eh?

Sheena Is A Parasite

Sheena Is A Parody

Count In Fives

My e-friends. =\

2007-03-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Like I said, I have friends. Many of my friends don't roam the street around here. But need I say, across the universe.

Firstly..

Here's Ray. Lover, brother and the sweetest thing.
He has problems socialising, but I'm sure he's doing
well now. He works as a cook. He's Irish and he
does an amazing Stich impersonation.
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind.
And it's rather amazing!
He took this picture in a circus, if I'm not mistaken.
I think it looks bloody amazing.

Here's Ben. Ex-lover. Friend. Heart breaker. Heart throb. Every girl he knows wants him.
But he's a sweet guy. Sensitive, loving, 5'7, meat eater, and lives in a trailer. His parent's divorced and so he lives with his mom. I love him dearly, and I want to break his bones. For kicks!

My Irish husspot! Kate Rattigan, also known as K-Rat.
She's also my wigga, and she's the only one who can make me bend over. She loves Matt Bellamy and Thom Yorke and she's got a problem with decided which one she's gonna marry.
I wish her luck!

On the top, in a black stick tie and white shirt, we have Coffin Joe! Thundersticks of The Horrors.
Big blazen eyes, cherub cheeks and a degree in Fashion designing.

On the right, we have my beloved Jacob. My Nordic blonde stallion warrior who grew up to be a dark haired German soldier with the mouth of a python.
My joker. And he claims I know him better than anyone.
He's witty, and also got a 24 year old lady pregnant. He's 17, mind you.

And here, we have Tomethey Furst. My Gypsy prince of The Horrors. He of the raggy basslines. I sound like a nut, calling musicians that, but what can I say. I'm a lonely ol' sob.
He's a doll, ain't he. My sexually confused Gypsy prince.
But isn't he adorable.

Mr. Faris Badwan aka Faris Rotter.
The Palestinian prince of The Horrors. I don't know about you, but everytime I think of him, I see Big Bird. =\
I think he sent me an email once. He told me about himself and shit.

And here comes Sir Rhyss Webb. aka Spider Webb. My utmost favourite. Play keyboards in The Horrors. Looks intimidating, but a natural smart-ass and sweetheart.

Finally, the bitch who refuses to add me. Apocalyptic hair and a love for blowing balloons. Joshua Von Grimm! He loves his guitar, his Mikayla and his fangs. He claims to have fangs. Twirly little bugger! =D

I'm very sure I have more friends. But I can't seem to find their pictures. But that's okay.

Please note that The Horrors are not some fancy "emo" band. I don't know their genre, but whatever it is, they don't deserve such legs. And it's because of them, I have an obessession for men with big hair. Damn them!

The Year Us 17 Year Olds Dread

2007-03-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Alas. It's 2007. The year for us unlucky one's to sit for god forbid, SPM!
The torture runs smooth. Study time is scarce. And teachers do their best to make you seem intelligent, when we all know we're just a bunch of fucking dumbasses.

Maybe I am smarter than I seem. But what if I'm not.
Maybe I'm only smart at one thing, but I can't achieve the rest.
That goes for Math, Additional Math, Accounts and ..um..
I think I'm just bad with numbers. :|

But oh well, I've decided to have some fun with free surveys and whatnot. They're already pasted on my myspace. As much as I look down on myspace, I still can't help that I got all the members of The Horrors to add me on their myspace. *blushes*
Yes, Coffin Joe first added me. Then Spider Webb, and then my dear sexually confused Tomethy Furst, and Faris Badwan. But somehow, Josh Von Grimm Vibestation won't. He probably thinks he's too good for himself. But nevermind.

Anyway, here's the survey I took. Now at least my readers have a chance to know me. Better. Or lesser.

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Jenna Talia
Birthday:	August 20th
Birthplace:	*In this thing I was in, I saw like faeces and shit. gasps* I'm an ass child!**
Current Location:	Chair
Eye Color:	Shit brown
Hair Color:	shit black
Height:	Shorter than Austin's penis
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed.
Your Heritage:	Oyster
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Your tongue
Your Weakness:	My boobs. I think they're magnificent. I could ravish them right now!!!
Your Fears:	Your tongue
Your Perfect Pizza:	Your tongue
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Maintain the number of fingers and toes I have.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Say hello to Urethra Franklin!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	I wonder if I have a Rubik's cube in my twat.
Your Best Physical Feature:	My breasts and eyes. =..
Your Bedtime:	I sleep when my dog sleeps
Your Most Missed Memory:	Sleeping with a horse
Pepsi or Coke:	Oyster sauce
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Now, that's a hard one!
Single or Group Dates:	Single. I'm selfish. [group dates = orgies]
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappucino because I'm so chic! NOT
Do you Smoke:	Yeah. My twat is smokin!
Do you Swear:	Are you fucking kidding? Of course I don't fucking swear!
Do you Sing:	In the jungle, the mighty jungle. The lion sleeps tonight....
Do you Shower Daily:	in the tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight OUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....
Have you Been in Love:	Oh yes! I fondle Liza Minelli all the time!
Do you want to go to College:	Maybe
Do you want to get Married:	Yes. I want to make 10 babies and then sell them off when they're 6. And make some more!
Do you belive in yourself:	To eat, yes!
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Do you know how I know I get Motion Sickness? My nipples get hard.
Do you think you are Attractive:	My nipples seem to think so.
Are you a Health Freak:	Oh yes! I wash my bed sheets everyday.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Mhmm.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	No. It means that I've been making fun of Kurt Cobaine.
Do you play an Instrument:	I spoon!!! ..m/
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Surprisingly no. sobs
In the past month have you Smoked:	I don't smoke. My twat does. So why not ask her.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Yep! Cough syrup!
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No. But I did make out with a cardboard cut-out of Muse.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes! I bought me a doily.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Nope ..Hm, I wonder if I lost weight..
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Nope
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No. But I did tell people to shut up.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Yes.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Nope. I miss it. I miss contaminating the pool with my twat juice!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Yes. A book.
Ever been Drunk:	Um no.
Ever been called a Tease:	All the time. I'm beginning to worry.
Ever been Beaten up:	Yes. But I couldn't control myself.
Ever Shoplifted:	Hmm. German Kohl. Chatuchak Market, Bangkok. 2005.
How do you want to Die:	I want Pete Doherty to beat me up senseless. And then write "EYE NOE U ARR STOOPEED COPPERS"
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A bus driver
Is your name Kyle Asselin::	Kyle Asselin? The bloke who got his cock bitten off by a donkey?! Hell no!!!
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Something dreamy.
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark. Dark. I don't have a preference. :\|
Short or Long Hair:	Long hair. I want to piss me mom off!
Height:	Hung like a horse. [Tall]
Weight:	I ain't dating no walrus.
Best Clothing Style:	Michael Jackson/ salsa dancer
Number of Drugs I have taken:	A tad bit.
Number of CDs I own:	Less than mine. Or else I'll be jealous
Number of Piercings:	Don't mind. As long I won't get my tonsils stuck to your cock.
Number of Tattoos:	Hmm..I'd love them to be hidden.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Sleeping with a horse
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO DEVIRGINZE HERMIONE GRANGER!

*Wily Ole Big F's Mini Survey of exciting questons*
Do you prefer sleeping or eating?	Sleeping. Can't get enough of it.
When was the last time you took your younger sibling to the cinema?	I don't have a younger sibling.
Who are you, and why?	I'm Jenna Talia. Because I rhyme with genitalia.
Who is your favourite Rotter?	Dog shit
Why?	Because it shits.
Do you prefer Robot girls or Human girls?	Human girls. They're soft. And warm. And pretty. And charming. And wet. And natural. I can go on all day!
If someone stabbed you with a cigarette, what would you do?	Spit into his mouth and stab his eye with a lighted ciggarette. =D
What colour hair do you wish you had?	Chocolate shit brown with Urine blonde highlights
If someone holds a camera to your face, what do you do?	Tell that person I'm John Lennon.
What is your favourite fruit?	Testicles
What is your favourite colour?	Purrple.
Juice or Alcohol?	Both? :\|
What is your favourite kind of nut?	Testicl'es.
What nationality is your cleaner?	Chick. =D
Have you ever been to a Gay club?	I'd love to! <3
Do you own a Jumpsuit?	Part of it..
Do you ever refer to yourself in the third person?	Yes. That's the only way I get candy.
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like wrapping paper?	8
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO BE HARRY POTTER!

A Christmas Message.

2006-12-28T09:20:00.000-08:00

After a search on websites and the oh, so famous YouTube, I got this rather amusing video clip. Enjoy.

X'MAS Joys

2006-12-19T00:12:00.000-08:00

We've got pro's. We've got suckas.
Since it's the Christmas season, I'm sure we'd all love a bit of comedy.
I've got a Yahelite account called "ifarkedsanta"..and now I've decided to crack open my brain and write a few parodies.

Unfortunately, I've only got two melodies. Blah. So, enjoy anyways. :p

Silent Night, Horny Night.

Silent night, grope me tight,
Angry dogs, saggy wives,
Crown no-more virgin , nympho strikes tonight,
Horny bastards and condoms galore,
My, my this song is a bore,
Maybe I'll try to not snore.

I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod

I'm dreaming of a white iPod.
Just like the one Aunt Sally has.
With the holographic touch screen
And mp4 abilities..
Can make my lonely ass worth living.

It seems that I'm no longer creative. :|

Ayutthya

2006-12-10T19:31:00.000-08:00

I am finally recovering from my cold. Thank god. These are the few pictures I've compiled from my tour to the Ayutthya province. It was made the capital of Siam from the 1300's right to the 1500's or the 1700's. I can't remember specifically. But I do remember it was burned down by the Burmese.

Enjoy. I shall now catch up with my sleep.

'Twas the night I returned home...

2006-12-10T04:33:00.000-08:00

Before there was Paranoid Android, there was R2d2, 3CPO, and that massive white robot Alan Rickman played in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. What I'm saying is everything is derived from something. Just like that flu and cough I developed on my trip to Bangkok.

Take note. It was enjoyable. Visiting the ancient lands of Ayyuthaya (built somewhere in the 1300's and was destroyed by the Burmese, made it a marvellous experience to remember. Ayutthaya, I must say, happens to be the most exciting event throughout the entire trip. Shopping was only part of my natural routine to stock up on what I didn't have. I see shopping as chore, not a fun and exciting thing to do with a friend.

The carvings on the temples are amazing. And not to mention how many headless Buddha statues I spotted. Head of the Buddha statues were stolen to make crafts or basically because it had a large demand in the black market industry. It was done out of revenge by some black-marketeers and such. Amazing, don't you think?

I shall be posting up pictures of my trip(excluding myself). All these pictures are snapped my myself and copyrighting would bother me one bit. =D

I shall return with a bag-load of pictures..

Jolly Good and Bored

2006-12-04T00:36:00.000-08:00

Alright. Due to the fact that I've nothing to say or update in my blog, I've randomly compiled randomly humourous pictures for you to enjoy.
I'll update something better soon. I'm still working on the terms Music critics use and it's functions and meanings.

Notice.

2006-11-23T00:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've been compiling and snapping photos from magazines. From those, I've done stenciling, re-editing, overlapping and some other creative stuff in order to re-shape them.

It's been a whole lot of fun and I've been using my time fairly by doing this, reading, and going into chatrooms and having some loner's fun.

But anyways, I hope some of you may enjoy and appreciate the work I've done. It's not fun sitting here and suffering from backaches.

However, this isn't copyrighting. I'm just borrowing (without asking). :D

The Night Is Young....and it's painted black.

2006-11-22T23:58:00.000-08:00

The Day After The Day After Mr Biggy left.

2006-11-22T22:06:00.000-08:00

And so the unthinkable happened. The school holidays started and I'm prescribed with a maximum dose of boredom and thoughts of "what do I eat?".
Most younglings await the joys of school holidays. However, as soon as it arrives, they get bored and shower themselves in the laziness.
Blogs to me, are unimportant. I've no idea what I'm supposed to say in these blogs except for posting my artwork and others. It's a shame when such intellects with a 3 figure IQ has nothing to say in his/her blog.
But I guess, I'll turn it into something cliche. I will talk about my day. In the form of poetry ala Brian Molko (aka He Who Rhymes A Lot).

Slammered up in a chatroom,
Serena Maneesh's Ukjent album in cue,
Cellphone's buzzing in the blue,
As Yanks blab about nothing to do.

Sweet Tara gives me five smileys,
Sunburn.freezerburn takes the life out of choco minies,
Ending our convo chickily,
And now Sweet Tara in the iggie.

Friendster alerting me of messages,
Microsoft Sam previewing nasty sentences,
Lady Thunderbolt and Lord Hurricane explain their differences,
And Photobucket is being a turd.

Grilled chicken in the stove,
Carrots and beans on toe,
Puppy's lickin' the hell out of my toe,
And why's my Coldplay album downloading so slow?

Off to Bangkok on the 6th of December,
It's one of those dates where I won't bother to remember,
I don't want to be alive on the 25th of December,
Because my relatives will make it a day to remember.
( And I don't want to sit for SPM :D )

Condition: Out of the torment of LSD.
D FOR DYSLEXIA! :D

A copy.

2006-11-22T02:22:00.000-08:00

This is a copy of what my boyfriend wrote in his blog. We're not big on blogging, but we do appreciate the fact that there's on place where we're both abled to speak our mind without getting shot. I completely agree with what he had said. I adore him for it. And this would definitely mean that we need to find our own path.

I'm just a box in a cage...

I'll start this off by letting you all know that I no longer have internet access at home.. not even in the Rec Room. I'm totally isolated. Hooray?
That said, here's a rant/whatever I typed this mornin'.

Before I even get started, I should warn you. If you're easily offended by anything remotely similar to racism, anything that sounds vaguely like racism, racial profiling, stereotyping, blanket statements, or "grouping" (somethimg similar to the previous two, but still somehow different), please do us both a favor, and don't read this.
Or, if you like being offended, at least have the common courtesty not to send me messages, bitching at me for stating an opinion.. because you know I'm not gonna listen. :)

(And if this sounds rambling and disjointed, I appologize. Most of this came to mind at 2 in the morning, when I was tired but still couldn't sleep, and now it's 7 in the morning, I'm running on two hours of sleep, give or take. Also, my grasp of history is tenuous at best.)

This is aimed at us "caucasians" who can trace our lineage back at least four generations, in this country. If you can't, this doesn't apply to you, and you shouldn't get offended or anything.
I have stumbled across the phrase "generic American". In this bass-ackwards, politically correct country, where we have to make up whole new phrases and groups for all the different ethnic groups (to keep from offending anyone, god forbid that happen); ie: Asian-Americans, African-Americans, Latin-Americans, and even Hispanic-Americans, (not to mention Mexican-Americans, who currently populate half or more of this great state), there seem to be plenty of racially-specific terms/words/phrases.. and I don't just mean the derogatory ones (We'll touch on that later.)
Maybe it's because I'm part of this group, but there don't seem to be too many phrases to describe us. None that aren't blatantly derogatory, that is.
(Sure, there's the stereotypes you see in movies.. again, that's later)

Also, I hate how black people call eachother "nigga" and crap like that, but we're mortified at the thought of using such language. Grow up, you fuckers. Slavery has been dead for a hundred years, except in the case of marriage. I know there are still white-supremacists and racists out there; I know a few of them. Niggers come in all colors, the way I see it. And remember, it wasn't just the white people catching the wild negroes and enslaving them. It was their own people. Their own people! Catching them and selling to the white people. So don't give me that bullshit.

Anyway, back to what I was getting at.. A lot of us "white" folks can trace our heritage here in the US back as far as the 1600s, when the group of prudes.. I mean pilgrims.. came over from England/wherever. Not to mention the Dutch. Some of us can trace it back only as far as the 1800s, when the puhtater famine was going on, and Scottish/Irish immigrants started flooding over here. Some of them being potato farmers, some horse theives, coming over to escape a hangin'..
I myself know that somewhere along the lines, I'm related to a horse thief, as well as the somewhat-famous writer, Laura Ingles Wilder. For those of you who don't recognize the name (shame on you), she wrote the Little House on the Prairie books, upon which the TV show was based. I think one of the Wilders was in the show, but I don't know (or care).
I've been told that somewhere in my family "tree", one can find German, British, Dutch, possibly Polish (which explains some things), Italian, and maybe even some French. Not a whole lot, though, since every male member of my family that I know of has fought in a war, defending this country.
You look at my dad, grandpa, and even my younger sister, and you can see the German; blonde hair, blue eyes, and the obviously German nose. Might be where I got mine from.
Also, a large part of my lineage comes not from tater farmers or famous writers, but the Native Americans who were uprooted and slaughtered by the Western Europeans who came over here. So basically, I'm allowed to say whatever I want about the different races and racial terms here. :) You're all foreigners.

I'd say maybe it's time for the few remaining Native Americans to stop with that whole "White man killed all the buffalo, then hunted my people to the brink of extinction" thing, but.. well, there aren't many left, and the bloodlines are so diluted (possibly from the white men raping the Indian women), so.. I'll let them continue.
That whole "manifest destiny" crap was a bitch on their way of life, I'd say we still owe 'em.

I've just discovered that my mom's cat likes Pringles. Odd.

One thing I really hate about people in this country is how they like to be labeled.. bound by stereotypes and little "cliques" they can fit into.
It's bad enough with stupid television, portraying white people as either being the uptight, white-collar business man, (or a low-brow, blue-collar inbred), the white kid who tries (way too hard) to be black, the "goth" kid, whiny and self-indulgent, with all that mascara/eye-liner, or the braindead, college-prep student (either the stupid team-slut cheerleader type or the stupid, aggressive, chauvanist sports-jock), or the socially-inept computer/video-game nerd. Sounds like the cast for another teen movie, eh? Go figure.

Some time in the past, a friend of mine stated her desire to become Wiccan. This surprised me, because she's got enough common sense that she doesn't need a little group to belong to, or a religion to help her deal with life. (Get real, kids. Thumping the bible doesn't do you any good.. really.)
I asked her why, and she said she wanted to belong to a group.. to feel a sense of belonging. I thought "Ya silly girl, you belong to me." But I digress. (I'm good at it)

I understood that she wanted to feel like she belonged, and I know what a comfort that can be, but in the long run, I don't see that it really does any good. The way I see it, religions and those little groups don't help you deal with real life, they only shelter you from it. Granted, that seems to be what most people want.. they don't want to deal with life, they only want to be sheltered. I still don't understand the whole emo-goth "culture".. To me, it's really just another strange way of behaving and dressing. At first, I thought people did that to set themselves apart.. since that's what most of them claimed.. but I've seen that it doesn't set you apart, it makes you like everyone else.
I just wish all those people would stop deluding themselves into thinking it makes them unique. It's like a form of denial, I swear.
Fuckers.

Anyway, I guess that's enough of my ranting. For now. *shakes my fist*

The Chaucer Pubbe Gag

2006-11-02T01:35:00.000-08:00

After special considerations and thinking, I've found the most adorable nonsense I've ever come across with.

Yes, I speak of none other than Bill Bailey himself. This is his reading, called The Chaucer Pubbe Gag. A prose of his, written in the style of "Chaucer", aptly known as Geoffrey Chaucer, the man behind The Canterbury Tales. If you find Shakespere difficult, I'd recommend that you do not come close to The Canterbury Tales or any other work of Chaucer. Brain damage is expected. So enough of my rhetorical mumbo-jumbo, here are the words and the video, for you to enjoy. A bloody keepsake.
Wonderful memorabilia.

The Chaucer Pubbe Gag

by Bill Bailey

Three fellows wenten into a pubbe,
and gleefully their hands did rubbe,
in expectacion of revelry,
for twas the hour known as happy.

Great bottles of wine did they quaff,
and hadde a really goode laff,
'till drunkenness held full dominion,
for 'twas two for the price of one.

Yet after wine and meade and sack,
man must have a massive snack,
great pasties from Cornwall,
Scottish eggs, round like a ball.

Great hams, quail, duck and geese,
they sucked the bones and drank the grease.
One fellow stood all pale and wan,
for he was a vegiterian.

Yet man knoweth that gluttony stoketh the fire of lechery,
upon three young wenches round and sly the fellows cast a wanton eye,
One did approach with drunken wink,
'allow daaahlin – you fancy a drink?

Soon they court them on their knee – 'twas like some grotesque puppetry,
such was the lewdness and debauchery 'twas like a sketch by Dick Emery,
Except Dick Emery is not yet born,
so that comparison may not be drawn.

But then the fellows began to pale,
for Quale are not the friend of ale,
And in their bellies much confusion,
from their throats, vile extruision!

Stinking foul coruption,
came spewing forth from drooling lips,
the fettid stench did fill the pubbe,
'twas the very arse of Belzibubbe.

Thrown they were, from the Whore and Trumpet,
In the street, no coin, no strumpet,
homeward bound must quickly go,
and to that end, a donkey stole.

Their hands all with vomit greased,
the donkey – was not pleased,
and threw them into a ditch of shite,
they all agreed – "what a brilliant night!"

And here's the link to the video.

Christ-sakes! Mr Baggy on the loose!

2006-11-02T01:02:00.000-08:00

Aftah discovering ah wholly whopping world of british humour, i've decided that i'd fancy to shaaare this obscure knowlegde that one has compiled one's self through uttah bliss and haaardwork.
One is talking fancy this simply because one has one is suffering ah minor case of dyslexiah. hott stuff, bally! Absolutely top hole - I have to say. Jolly good show old bean! **

**This is the translation of what I said.**
After discovering a wholly whopping world of British humour, I've decided that I'd like to share this obscure knowlegde that I have compiled myself through utter bliss and hardwork.
I'm talking like this simply because I have I am suffering a minor case of dyslexia. Hott stuff, bugger!

If you suffer from minor cuts, burns, bruises or so to say, any form of internal bleeding, either from your brain, stomach, lung or anything that involves your lifestyle( that includes yer pubes,too ) ..take note that this may be rather infectious. Or so to speak, it may cause damage( or more ) to you. So have a jolly good time and have a laugh. Have a bit of a joke. Because in the end, you're the one who'll be a tad bit brainier than tha' hood. I specifically regret saying that. So, learn , dear fiend! And speak like the Brits!

Take heed that this translation is set into Ali-G mode. Yes, your text will turn out the be the sickest and crummiest shit you'll ever read.

Next up, The Chaucer Pubbe Gag.
Take note that the term "Pubbe" is pronounced as "pub".

Glemdoroiz-ation

2006-10-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

Out of the holiness that is holy!

That might even be the face of God!

Watch Carmen Elektra and your best friend's mom in Milf-action!

Your Horoscope For Today

2006-10-16T22:40:00.001-07:00

For years, in fact, milleniums, astrology has gained popularity due to the gullible fools who still in fact believe that Nada Surf is an occult*.
Readers, I advise ye to listen to some good ol' Half Man Half Biscuit and chow down some beef jerky.

Here's your horoscope.++

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true. Now, where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

*Nada Surf is actually a band.
++ help given by Weird Al.

Next up!

My Glass Is Half Empty

2006-10-16T01:38:00.000-07:00

-Smack the life out of that glass-

As it goes on (in fact, my blog has never even started) , I shall make use of my blog to store the best of my album reviews, commentaries on movies, books and such.
The description of my days is to be remained a personal momentum as it is private, and I don't intend on sharing my dark days with you sodomists. I apologise rubbish talks. Now flee, sacred parasite of heaven. And flee with thy brothers and worship my perfection. And by that, I mean, read, hate and go away..and do come back for goodies to win. I kid.

PS.
My blogging may be considered offensive* towards followers of Jewihism,Jesus-followers, and Islamica. You may find elements of favouritism towards those of Homolism. Symbols of the Swastika or the crooked cross is to symbolise my respect towards nirvana(not the band) and the Nazi. :)
Beware of fiesty termites and post-Godzilla depression.
Enjoy!

*offensive unless stated.